You may be wondering what I did with my Ozzfest tickets. I gave them to the new receptionist at work free of charge without so much as a Lewinski even being mentioned. She and her boyfriend can go battle the heat and the crowds, not me.

The thought of scalping the ducats on e-Bay crossed my mind and wallet, but in the end, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I guess I'm just an old softy at heart (but not in my pants).